Last week, I thought I was overwhelmed with everything that had to be figured out over the next few weeks. This week, I’m just not convinced that this is going to be an achievable option for me much longer. One week at a time though.
Wednesday morning, I left at 7am to go back to Cape Breton to start treatment. I was nervous about the drive, nervous about the needle, nervous about medication side effects and sensations. As we got closer to my appointment time, I became nervous that I’d miss the appointment because of all the construction we were delayed in. Only 10 minutes late, I put on my mask and walked into the hospital to answer the covid questions at the entrance. Got upstairs to the pain clinic, answered the same questions and then was directed to my chair.
My temperature was a little high after all of that, then the concern of my higher temperature had my heart rate and blood pressure increase. It was an interesting check in. But I got hooked up (without an ativan like I normally need for needles because of my intense anxiety). I was proud of myself for making the journey and reaching my goal.
During my time there, I connected with 3 other CRPS warriors who each had their own amazing story. It was incredibly personal and personable in that room. I will never forget when I walked in there and started talking with them. My own fear, pain and anxiety disappeared until the alarm went off 🙂 I was consumed with wanting to understand and support these complete strangers. Because I knew how it feels to live with CRPS and I know what comes with it for the most part. I know and understand the term “suicide disease” from all perspectives.
THAT’S WHY I TRY TO MAKE TODAY A BETTER DAY FOR MYSELF AND OTHERS.
My good hand is purple in the right light, and the pain goes up to my elbows. Afterwards, I felt like I was slightly buzzed on wine and fine herbal for about 12 hours. Standing felt weird we could say. The pain my my good hand was worse than my CRPS limbs for a bit, but my swagger was still in my step and my arm oddities remained. Today, I feel the same way I would in these weather conditions after a stressful week. I’m a little extra sore, but I think and hope it is understandable.
All of the travelling hurts. Even though I was fortunate enough to stay for the night these past 2 trips, 4 1/2 hours drive 4 days in 2 weeks is a lot for a person with CRPS and other chronic pain conditions.
Next trip, I think we’re going to see if I can handle the 8 hours in one day. It’s next Friday. When I get home after the journey and treatment, my step daughters will be here and it’s going to make for an interesting night. But these are the things that I have to do to try to Conquer my CRPS medically.
My one trip is turning into 6 in the end, but I shouldn’t complain. One person I met has been doing it once a week for 14 months I believe he said. I have to try to make these trips work.
I won’t know if these things are going to work or not for another few weeks, so I gotta keep trying and travelling.
Tired, I am.
But, it’s Friday and I have a shift of work to complete before I can unwind after this chaos. I’ve missed enough time lately from this damned disease. Wish me luck.
Be kind to your mind and to one another ❤
#CRPS #CRPSAwareness #CRPSWarriors #chronicPain #invisibleIllness #spoonie #unbendablespoon #conqueringCRPS #bekindtoyourmind #strongertogether #youarenotalone