My Journey

blogging, chronic pain, CRPS, inspiration, lifestyle

New Thinking

2020 is more than halfway through and so far it looks nothing like 2019, or anything any of us have seen before (at once).

The world around us changes, but the circumstances and limitations my body already had set for me, and others like me, remain the same. I caught myself slipping there a few weeks ago into the easier thoughts of depression and hopelessness. The days were too long and I couldn’t sleep enough, always being tired. I was upset with everything and jumping to hopeful conclusions for problems that were out of my control.

It sucked.

So, I decided to start doing things a little differently. I took a step back from projects I was working on and took a step in front of the mirror. Literally. I looked at what CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome) has done to me so far, by 32 years old, and I looked into my own eyes.

“What the hell have I let happen?” I thought to myself.

I closed my eyes and took 3 deep breaths. I knew things needed to change.. just like they were changing around me.

CRPS sucks, I can’t say it enough and I can’t find a more glorified way of saying it. It SUCKS the life out of patients. It SUCKS personality out of patients. It SUCKS motivation and it SUCKS inspiration. It SUCKS and leaves us drained, in a lot of pain. Highest pain recorded on the McGill Pain Index in fact. It Sucks.

That won’t change.

But my attitude towards it could use a few modifications.

Chronic pain in general has taught me of my own personal strength. My ability to get up, keep going and keep trying. I am stronger than I look and stronger than I give myself credit for.

Chronic pain inspired me to tap into my kindness and compassion for others- but also for myself. I know what it feels like to be alone, in pain and without answers- I don’t wish this on anyone and want to help everyone I meet. The world needs more positive vibrations and when you have something sucking all of that from you, it’s difficult to emit such a frequency unless you work on it.

Chronic pain taught me what is truly possible if you put your mind to it. It can consume, abuse and hurt you, OR it can help you rise above it all and give you strength to help you do the impossible.

One day at a time, I’m learning, I’m growing and I’m trying. I want to help myself and help others increase the quality of their lives, in small steps. Chronic pain and mental health can be difficult to balance, so I want to thank you all for following me along my journey so far and for any donations my followers have made towards my paypal account. You are all appreciated and help me continue this project.

I originally started this blog after my first pain specialist treated me for CRPS for a year and then had to wish me luck as a patient and person because there was nothing more he could try. I started with the intent of releasing negative emotions to make space for the positive and to inspire others to try to smile- no matter what is going on. CRPS has an awful nickname that I try to not mention, “Suicide Disease”. I’m trying to change that to “Made for Warriors”. I’ll get to where I need to be when I need to be there and have already come so far ❤

Be kind to your mind and be kind to one another ❤

Positive thoughts,

-Kristen Sparkle

@ConquerCRPS on Instagram, Facebook and Gmail

https://www.swagbucks.com/refer/HippieRays If you want to make a little extra money from home for watching videos or taking surveys. It all adds up. I’ve made $700 in the past few years.

paypal.me/sewearthycreations My personal journey is increasingly difficult because of CRPS, but I continue to try to make the best of each day. All support is greatly appreciated ❤

blogging, chronic pain, CRPS, hope, lifestyle

Catching up

It has been some time since I’ve written and I apologize for that. It seems that a little time was needed for myself to absorb and accept everything that is going on. My own life continues to challenge me, as the world around me rumbles with change.

I just have to mention: if I could walk properly- I’d be with all of you peaceful protesters and I wish there were more I could do from my position.

That’s the very part of everything that has been hurting me the most lately. There’s not much that I can do about anything these days except try to get through the day and onto the next.

I’m stuck.

That’s not like me. I usually “Adapt. Improvise. Overcome”, but these days- I just wish. I wish I could do these grand things to help others and myself. I wish I could make the world a better place in my small ways. I wish I could Sparkle and shine without a struggle because I know things will be ok. Instead of just wishing.

It has bee difficult for me to feel stuck. Especially this time of year. I’m supposed to be organizing the 3rd Annual Walk to Conquer CRPS- but again, I’m just wishing. Things stand in the way to prevent me from accomplishing anything these days. I won’t elaborate or dwell any further.

I am impressed with myself for how I am handling my pain these days though. Living with CRPS- Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, can make every minute a struggle. It truly does. But I’ve been working with my mind and natural remedies to simmer down how much the pain can consume me, or get in my way. I think when I am triggered, the pain is more intense than ever, because of the stressful and changing conditions we are all going through- in addition to my own. But I can calm it down and adjust my current situation for comfort easier than before. Perhaps because I have more time to work on myself and have less struggles getting to work now that my journey is to my basement.

I am trying to be as kind to my mind as possible and not accept defeat in defeating times. One day and one step at a time, I’ll get to where I need to be.

Short and sweet, but at least it was something. I will be back to writing soon.

Take care of yourself, be kind to your mind and one another. We are stronger together ❤

Positive thoughts,

-Kristen Sparkle

@ConquerCRPS on Instagram, Facebook and Gmail

https://www.swagbucks.com/refer/HippieRays If you want to make a little extra money from home for watching videos or taking surveys. It all adds up. I’ve made $700 in the past few years.

paypal.me/sewearthycreations My personal journey is increasingly difficult because of CRPS, but I continue to try to make the best of each day. All support is greatly appreciated ❤

I CANNOT RESPOND OR CHECK COMMENTS ON COMPLEXTRUTHS SO PLEASE EMAIL ME CONQUERCRPS@GMAIL.COM–

blogging, chronic pain, CRPS, inspiration, lifestyle

Change of plans

The sun is shining, birds are singing and Nova Scotia is expected to reach double digit temperatures today. It’s going to be a great day.

I feel it’s a good time to sit for a few minutes and update everyone on what has been going on. There has been a change of plans and it took me awhile to accept and adapt. But here I am, ready to take the next step.

For 2 years, I spent most of my free time brainstorming and organizing the Walk to Conquer CRPS and our network of Warriors. This August was supposed to be the 3rd annual event and it was to be on my 33rd birthday. I had big plans to celebrate this with 3 different fundraisers throughout this year to help our mission.

But. As you all know, covid-19 has created more problems than I’d like to admit.

Unfortunately, the 3rd Annual Walk to Conquer CRPS is cancelled due to the current situation we are in.

Which hurts my Sparkle a wee bit.

I’m looking for other ways to inspire hope, help and awareness to CRPS- Complex Regional Pain Syndrome and it’s warriors. The fundraising usually goes to a medical team in Montreal that have been testing a new CRPS treatment, but even that will be different this year.

Do I have any artists or musicians as followers interested in assisting with a small project? email conquercrps@gmail.com if so.

I’m still working from my basement, warmer days will help me hopefully increase my hours. I haven’t seen my step daughters in months, but I finally will have them here next weekend and I am more than thrilled. My pain has been overwhelming as my stress levels increase, but I know after years of living with it, the more I pay attention to it- the worse it will get.

One of my dearest friends and fellow warrior sent me a video the other day that shocked me and I want to share it here with you. I understand they are actors, but the portrayal is amazing. The story of her remission is even more miraculous. This is what life with CRPS/RSD is like. When I say I am constantly battling myself to be ok with the pain, I’m not messing around. I’m just kind about it, because of my sparkle or something. CRPS has had many names over the years, which has caused a lot of confusion. Even in this clip, it is referred to as RSD- Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, but the name was changed in 1995 to CRPS- Complex Regional Pain Syndrome… or ‘the suicide disease’

Skip to 28 minutes on the link below if you are interested.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNKJqeWlTqA&app=desktop

With that in mind, I have a lot of work to do. Today will be a good day and we will still find a way to Conquer CRPS. ❤

We are all in this together and we are Stronger than ever together ❤

HUGE SHOUT OUT AND THANK YOU TO ALL POLICE OFFICERS, EMERGENCY RESPONDERS, FIRE DEPARTMENTS, NURSES, DOCTORS, CLEANERS AND EVERYONE ELSE WORKING. THERE IS A REASON YOU ARE STILL WORKING AND WE ARE ALL MORE THAN THANKFUL FOR YOU ❤ THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR BEING PATIENT AND DOING YOUR PART. ❤

“I fight enough invisible illnesses- please stay home so I don’t have to fight anymore”

Be Kind to Your Mind ❤

Positive thoughts,

-Kristen Sparkle

@ConquerCRPS on Instagram, Facebook and Gmail

https://www.swagbucks.com/refer/HippieRays If you want to make a little extra money from home for watching videos or taking surveys. It all adds up. I’ve made $700 in the past few years.

paypal.me/sewearthycreations My personal journey is increasingly difficult because of CRPS, but I continue to try to make the best of each day. All support is greatly appreciated ❤

I CANNOT RESPOND OR CHECK COMMENTS ON COMPLEXTRUTHS SO PLEASE EMAIL ME CONQUERCRPS@GMAIL.COM–

#UnbendableSpoons #StrongerTogether #CRPSAwareness #CRPSWarrior #ConquerCRPS #FibromyalgiaFighter #FightChronicPain #FightCRPS with #love #peace #happiness = #success and #peaceofmind #youarenotalone #wegotthis #StayStrong #StayHopeful #BeKindToYourMind

blogging, chronic pain, CRPS, inspiration, lifestyle

Living with an invisible illness- while hiding from another

I have not felt like myself in awhile, that’s no secret. Once I feel slightly adjusted to one change, another dramatic event happens in Nova Scotia to pull at the heart strings and mix my emotion pot up. It has been difficult, but here we are: Stronger than ever together.

One thing that has remained at the front of my mind: I want to be the change that I wish to see in the world.

Although my limitations are growing and reality becomes overwhelming at times, I want to inspire hope, awareness, love and support to those who need it. This is what I’ve been doing for 3 years in my little ways, I should be able to now when it’s most needed.

It seems I’ve been needing those things myself lately though. So it’s been difficult to inspire a spark without a sparkle. My followers hopefully get that ❤

So, I would like to break something down quickly for anyone who might relate to what I’m going through.

I’ve lived with invisible illnesses for almost 13 years now. It started out with a chronic pain condition called Fibromyalgia. Fibro is rated 28 out of 50 on the McGill Pain Index, created at McGill University. It felt like my entire body was always sore and extremely uncomfortable. If I took a hot bath to relax, I’d have to put a towel underneath me to absorb the chill from the porcelain tub. It took me awhile to adjust to those pain levels.

I did not know at the time that Fibromyalgia not only caused wide spread pain, but it also had it’s affect on your nervous systems. As an example of the many symptoms that come from a chronic pain condition like that is: ‘Fibro Fog’. It’s a common term used to explain the foggyness in our thinking sometimes- not because we’re not intelligent- but because our nervous systems have sight differences in the way they work.

3 years ago, I was diagnosed with CRPS- Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. Nicknamed the ‘Suicide Disease’ by doctors and some patients. CRPS is rated 42 out of 50 on the McGill Pain Index- higher than amputation of digit, non terminal cancer, child birth and everything else on the index. This pain can come as shocks from the wind or a hug from Allodynia or Hyperalgesia (can’t remember which one, fibro fog), or it can sit at a constant hum of that intense pain.

In addition to the pain, every nervous system in the body is affected. Our fight or flight modes are in overdrive, our short term memory is not the best, our emotional regulation needs to be focused on or it can get easily derailed (As my followers have seen.) 66% of patients in Canada need to see 3 or more doctors with the same symptoms (either swollen, atrophied, discolored, different temperature than opposite limb, etc) before a proper diagnosis and by that time, the damage is usually permanent and progressive. Without a cure, medical support or knowledge, 4 out of 5 patients decide to end their lives as their treatment. Hence, the nickname.

Which is awful.

This is why I wanted to be the change that I wish to see in the world.

Since then, I’ve been given the nickname ‘Kristen Sparkle’ and I try to truly shine in any way I can. Even though, I’m living with debilitating pain taking over my dominant arm and legs. I also have had no medical support or successful treatment and if I were to start now on a cliff-note version of my last 3 years medically and financially (how the two connect? only chronic pain patients or those with other invisible illnesses understand), we’d be here all day. So I won’t.

So I organized the 1st and 2nd Annual Walk to Conquer CRPS and raised funds for a medical team in Montreal that are testing a new CRPS treatment. Hopefully the 3rd Annual event will be this August. I also try to make positive quote pictures to share on instagram and Facebook (@ConquerCRPS) I wrote a 365 day blog challenge- Spoonie Edition, right here on WordPress and Complex Truths, finishing out the last 50 days with #50dayswithCRPS. I started more fundraisers for the medical team in Montreal with the 3s to change CRPS and an Art Auction that was supposed to be held in April. I offer one on one support emails and had a monthly skype support group going before this Covid-19 stuff took over everything.

I try to help.

But for the past little while, I was the one who was needing the positive quotes and words. I was the one who needed a virtual hug and couldn’t handle the symptoms of my conditions or limitations and challenges.

I woke up this morning to a little voice telling me to be nice to myself today. Give myself credit for the little things I have done. I have to overcome many obstacles and limitations to accomplish what I do, so for that I am proud.

So I will end on a positive thought:

My father and I have been trying to find healing benefits from nature. I’m proud to say I am on my 30th day of a special tincture we made (no, it’s not marijuana or psychedlic). On a good day (with no moisture in the air, decent sleep and limited stress), my fibro pains are simmered down. CRPS is still dominant, but if one pain is limited- I feel a benefit. The tincture tastes delicious and I cannot believe it works. I’ve been working on a write up about it to share with the world, hopefully soon 🙂

May the Fourth be with each and every one of you today. Happy Star Wars Day from one Hippie with high hopes to the world ❤

We are all in this together and we are Stronger than ever together ❤

HUGE SHOUT OUT AND THANK YOU TO ALL POLICE OFFICERS, EMERGENCY RESPONDERS, FIRE DEPARTMENTS, NURSES, DOCTORS, CLEANERS AND EVERYONE ELSE WORKING. THERE IS A REASON YOU ARE STILL WORKING AND WE ARE ALL MORE THAN THANKFUL FOR YOU ❤ THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR BEING PATIENT AND DOING YOUR PART. ❤

“I fight enough invisible illnesses- please stay home so I don’t have to fight anymore”

Be Kind to Your Mind ❤

Positive thoughts,

-Kristen Sparkle

@ConquerCRPS on Instagram, Facebook and Gmail

https://www.swagbucks.com/refer/HippieRays If you want to make a little extra money from home for watching videos or taking surveys. It all adds up. I’ve made $700 in the past few years.

paypal.me/sewearthycreations My personal journey is increasingly difficult because of CRPS, but I continue to try to make the best of each day. All support is greatly appreciated ❤

I CANNOT RESPOND OR CHECK COMMENTS ON COMPLEXTRUTHS SO PLEASE EMAIL ME CONQUERCRPS@GMAIL.COM–

#UnbendableSpoons #StrongerTogether #CRPSAwareness #CRPSWarrior #ConquerCRPS #FibromyalgiaFighter #FightChronicPain #FightCRPS with #love #peace #happiness = #success and #peaceofmind #youarenotalone #wegotthis #StayStrong #StayHopeful #BeKindToYourMind

blogging, chronic pain, CRPS, hope, Life

Too much, still adjusting

Where I come from, the people are kind and compassionate. We are the kind of people who apologize if we are in someones way and we compliment strangers if we like their shirts. We wish almost everyone we see a “Good Morning” or “Good Afternoon” and we help those who need it, even those who don’t.

I’m proud to be Nova Scotian.

But these past few weeks have been difficult. I have felt myself losing my Sparkle and needing to refocus for a while after the covid-19 pandemic started, I’m still having troubles. Once I finally began to feel like myself again with these new limitations from yet another invisible illness, my community became filled with terror, anger and sheer frustration. The Nova Scotia shootings will never be forgotten and the entire province still has heavy hearts for all of those affected.

After a week of really trying to “fake it until I make it” with happiness and feeling okay, I decided it was time to leave my house again. I went for a quick drive with my husband while he went to the marijuana store for me and then to the convenience store by my house. Lately, there has been a line up outside of this store, but not on Friday. The parking lot was nearly empty and he was able to pick up my medicine in less than 5 minutes. Once we got to my neighborhood, the convenience store had a sign on the door “Go home, active shooter in neighborhood.”

My neighborhood???

Another shooter?!?

Once I got home and was able to listen to the radio, contacted my mother and my sister, I learned that the shooter in my area was a false alarm and the police were investigating 2 other situations in the community of my youngest step daughter.

Also false alarms.

Thank goodness they were false alarms, but it is still way to much for me to be comfortable with. Way too close to home.

The whole world needs some love. The whole world needs a germ free hug. We all need to recognize that WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER and we are STRONGER TOGETHER.

Sunday evening, I needed to find something to smile about. Sincerely, my heart needed it. So, I turned on my rainbow lights and Canadian Flag projector outside to light up my window paintings and we went for a short drive at night time to see the support in the community. There were so many hearts and Nova Scotia flags lit up. Along with so many inspiring signs and paintings on windows and so many opportunities to feel thankful instead of nervous. It was beautiful.

Nova Scotia, you are amazing. we are stronger together and we will get through this.

My blog and my life for the past 3 years have been about raising awareness, inspiration and support for a less common invisible illness. CRPS- Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. It is the highest rated pain recorded on the McGill Pain Index (Higher than childbirth, non terminal cancer, amputation of digit and everything else on the index). There is no cure either. I’m sorry I have not been able to focus on this for the past few entries, I hope it is understandable.

On a positive note,

The 3rd Annual Walk to Conquer CRPS will be here in Halifax on August 29, 2020 if we are able to join together at Point Pleasant Park as planned. If not, I will be learning how to make this all virtual so we can still get together online and raise some smiles, support and awareness. We usually raise funds to go towards medical research of a new CRPS treatment, but I am unsure if that is on hold or not with the doctor and his team. One day and one step at a time, we will get to these better days ahead that I keep mentioning ❤

We are all in this together and we are Stronger than ever together ❤

HUGE SHOUT OUT AND THANK YOU TO ALL POLICE OFFICERS, EMERGENCY RESPONDERS, FIRE DEPARTMENTS, NURSES, DOCTORS, CLEANERS AND EVERYONE ELSE WORKING. THERE IS A REASON YOU ARE STILL WORKING AND WE ARE ALL MORE THAN THANKFUL FOR YOU ❤ THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR BEING PATIENT AND DOING YOUR PART. ❤

“I fight enough invisible illnesses- please stay home so I don’t have to fight anymore”

Be Kind to Your Mind ❤

Positive thoughts,

-Kristen Sparkle

@ConquerCRPS on Instagram, Facebook and Gmail

https://www.swagbucks.com/refer/HippieRays If you want to make a little extra money from home for watching videos or taking surveys. It all adds up. I’ve made $700 in the past few years.

paypal.me/sewearthycreations My personal journey is increasingly difficult because of CRPS, but I continue to try to make the best of each day. All support is greatly appreciated ❤

I CANNOT RESPOND OR CHECK COMMENTS ON COMPLEXTRUTHS SO PLEASE EMAIL ME CONQUERCRPS@GMAIL.COM–

#UnbendableSpoons #StrongerTogether #CRPSAwareness #CRPSWarrior #ConquerCRPS #FibromyalgiaFighter #FightChronicPain #FightCRPS with #love #peace #happiness = #success and #peaceofmind #youarenotalone #wegotthis #StayStrong #StayHopeful #BeKindToYourMind

blogging, chronic pain, CRPS, hope, lifestyle

Love from Nova Scotia

The past few weeks and weekends have been different for most of us. It can be hard on the bodies, hard on the mind and heavy on the heart, for many reasons. I decided to spend the weekend cleaning my house, trying to make space for some positive energy.

I truly enjoyed the One World: Together at home program. I must admit, I cried for a lot of it, but it was a wonderful show.

I made the decision to NOT check the news yesterday morning. For the first time in over a month now. I wanted to continue making space for positive energy in my home and I wanted to feel refreshed for this week ahead.

Around 4:30PM, I found out that the world changed dramatically outside my home over the past 24 hours. Nova Scotia, was going through one of the worst weekends in our history.

Not only are our covid-19 numbers and deaths rising, but we lost over 10 Nova Scotians yesterday. Including a female RCMP officer, with another officer in hospital. I write ‘over 10 Nova Scotians’ because unfortunately, they still don’t know how many crime scenes there are and some of the scenes are that confusing… they’re unsure of the victim count yet. The suspect went across our province before the RCMP terminated his life.

This is NOT something I ever thought I would have to write about or live through, especially during the covid-19 pandemic. We are already making history, why is my home town now know as the location for the “worst mass shooting in Canadian history”?

As an empath, or whatever it is that I feel, there is a extremely heavy wave of sadness and anger in the air. It hurts.

Now, more then ever- I am trying to find ways to be positive and inspire others to be kind to their minds. be patient and be hopeful. We have lost too many lives this weekend, my hippie heart hurts. My thoughts and heart goes out to all of the victims family and friends, also to the family and friends to those who lost someone to covid-19.

May today be a better day. May we all be kind and mindful of one another. Please, please, please- Be kind to your mind ❤

One day at a time, we will get through this together.

HUGE SHOUT OUT AND THANK YOU TO ALL POLICE OFFICERS, EMERGENCY RESPONDERS, FIRE DEPARTMENTS, NURSES, DOCTORS, CLEANERS AND EVERYONE ELSE WORKING. THERE IS A REASON YOU ARE STILL WORKING AND WE ARE ALL MORE THAN THANKFUL FOR YOU ❤ THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR BEING PATIENT AND DOING YOUR PART. ❤

“I fight enough invisible illnesses- please stay home so I don’t have to fight anymore”

Be Kind to Your Mind ❤

Positive thoughts,

-Kristen Sparkle

@ConquerCRPS on Instagram, Facebook and Gmail

https://www.swagbucks.com/refer/HippieRays If you want to make a little extra money from home for watching videos or taking surveys. It all adds up. I’ve made $700 in the past few years.

paypal.me/sewearthycreations My personal journey is increasingly difficult because of CRPS, but I continue to try to make the best of each day. All support is greatly appreciated ❤

I CANNOT RESPOND OR CHECK COMMENTS ON COMPLEXTRUTHS SO PLEASE EMAIL ME CONQUERCRPS@GMAIL.COM–

#UnbendableSpoons #CRPSAwareness #CRPSWarrior #ConquerCRPS #FibromyalgiaFighter #FightChronicPain #FightCRPS with #love #peace #happiness = #success and #peaceofmind #youarenotalone #wegotthis

blogging, chronic pain, CRPS, hope, lifestyle

Trying my best

This has all been very hard on my heart and mind. I try to be known as ‘Kristen Sparkle’, and if I am having a difficult time- I know others are too.

I have been unable to write because I have been trying to keep my mind busy, instead of diving into my own thoughts. This will not be my usual positive post, but I felt I needed to write something. It’s been too long.

My home office is slowly coming together and I’m almost working 5 3.5 hour shifts a week. It’s cold, damp and has an unfortunate amount of spiders in the basement, but it’s mine. Which is nice. Unfortunately, my calls have changed from general inquiries and orders to sincere worry from every customer. The company I work for sells medical equipment, along with cleaning and janitorial items with nearly 3 million other items in our inventory. But every call is the same. Clorox wipes or something along those lines, or UPS/FedEx tracking (thank you all courier and warehouse employees).

I wish I could personally make millions of these items an hour and hand them out for free with delivery by drone or something. It hurts me to not be of immediate assistance to 85% of my callers. Lots of them are kind and excited to be speaking with someone, but they are all desperate and scared. Like me and almost every one else out there.

Otherwise, I’m unable to see my family (like everyone else) and I’m unable to go grocery shopping or run errands because I need help doing those things and only one person per house is allowed to shop here.

My fundraising projects have gone on hold which sort of bothers me. This was the 3rd year of fundraising and it was supposed to be big. CRPS Awareness, inspiration and support are still being worked on and one day at a time, we will Conquer CRPS 🙂

For today, I have to try to be hopeful and helpful. There is only so much I can do with certain situations, but I can always try to have people leave their experience with me feeling a little happier.

One day at a time, we will get through this together.

HUGE SHOUT OUT AND THANK YOU TO ALL TRUCK DRIVERS, WAREHOUSE WORKERS, CASHIERS. CONSTRUCTION AND MANUFACTURING WORKERS, TRANSIT WORKERS. MOST OF ALL: THANK YOU TO OUR FRONT LINE WORKERS IN THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY, POLICE FORCE AND FIRE DEPARTMENTS. THANK YOU TO OUR CLEANERS, THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR BEING PATIENT AND DOING YOUR PART.

Be Kind to Your Mind ❤

Positive thoughts,

-Kristen Sparkle

@ConquerCRPS on Instagram, Facebook and Gmail

https://www.swagbucks.com/refer/HippieRays If you want to make a little extra money from home for watching videos or taking surveys. It all adds up. I’ve made $700 in the past few years.

paypal.me/sewearthycreations My personal journey is increasingly difficult because of CRPS, but I continue to try to make the best of each day. All support is greatly appreciated ❤

I CANNOT RESPOND OR CHECK COMMENTS ON COMPLEXTRUTHS SO PLEASE EMAIL ME CONQUERCRPS@GMAIL.COM–

#UnbendableSpoons #CRPSAwareness #CRPSWarrior #ConquerCRPS #FibromyalgiaFighter #FightChronicPain #FightCRPS with #love #peace #happiness = #success and #peaceofmind #365daychallenge #3ToChangeCRPS

blogging, chronic pain, CRPS, hope, lifestyle

Finding the Fresh

I must admit, now that my blogging challenges are finished, I miss waking up each morning to write. After a year of the same routine, I grew fond of it.

Since I have finished, I have had more time to collect my thoughts and find a “new normal”. With all of the changes happening, it has been difficult to feel anything close to my old normal. Normal is a word I normally try to avoid, but it seems appropriate for right now. Nothing is normal. I think this is for almost everyone though, am I right?

I am now working from home in my basement and that alone has been quite an adjustment for me. For the past 3 years, I pushed myself beyond comfort and limits so I could get out of the house and work. Now, everyday is exactly the same. Without those environmental triggers (walking to work, the bright lights, loud noises- everything that I complained made my life more difficult before), I worry how my nervous system will react for when I do face that world again.

CRPS- Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, affects every nervous system in our bodies. It creates the most intense pain recorded and it confuses everything with its complexity.

So, as much as I thought I would enjoy working from home: I want to get out of here. As do so many other people around the world.

I am fortunate to have a room in my basement that I turned into an office. I have spent the past few weeks trying to paint, make curtains and gather my stuff from around my house to put into my room. Which seems sort of weird, but you would understand if you knew me 🙂

I still have not been able to fully connect with my Sparkle and inspiration again regarding my other CRPS awareness, support and inspiration projects. For that, I feel awful. However, I never expected to be living in a world like this when I was finishing my blog challenges and moving onto the next steps. One day at a time though, I am slowly responding to emails and organizing my thoughts. I will be stronger when I rise from this fall.

I miss my family a lot. I miss my niece and nephew, my grandparents, my sister, mom and Dad. I miss my step daughters a lot lately. They have been my joy since the first day I was able to spend time with them. Their presence in my house illuminates my world and without them, my heart has been heavy. I spend a lot of time in their room, just to be there.

“Life is tough darling, but so are you.”

I know that if I have been feeling this way during these grim times, others must be too. So just as a reminder, we all need to be kind to our minds. Stress and dwelling will not magically make this all go away, so please try to avoid it. If you notice you are stressed out, become aware of it and try to think of something positive. Or watch something positive. Or listen to something positive. Do something to switch your thinking.

Be Kind to Your Mind ❤

Positive thoughts,

-Kristen Sparkle

@ConquerCRPS on Instagram, Facebook and Gmail

https://www.swagbucks.com/refer/HippieRays If you want to make a little extra money from home for watching videos or taking surveys. It all adds up. I’ve made $700 in the past few years.

paypal.me/sewearthycreations My personal journey is increasingly difficult because of CRPS, but I continue to try to make the best of each day. All support is greatly appreciated ❤

I CANNOT RESPOND OR CHECK COMMENTS ON COMPLEXTRUTHS SO PLEASE EMAIL ME CONQUERCRPS@GMAIL.COM–

#UnbendableSpoons #CRPSAwareness #CRPSWarrior #ConquerCRPS #FibromyalgiaFighter #FightChronicPain #FightCRPS with #love #peace #happiness = #success and #peaceofmind #365daychallenge #3ToChangeCRPS

blogging, chronic pain, CRPS, inspiration, lifestyle

Challenges Complete- Day 50

Today is my 366th day of focusing on my goal. Of course, I chose a leap year to start a challenge. I was hoping I could raise awareness, hope, inspiration and support for the invisible illness that has changed my life. CRPS- Complex Regional Pain Syndrome.

One day at a time and one person at a time, I think I made a small difference 🙂

CRPS causes the most intense pain recorded and it controls every nervous system in my body. Underneath my skin is what I imagine Hell would be like. That’s the best way to describe it.

It consumes my mind and caused some sincerely dark days over the past 3 years.

But it also helped me find my inner strength. Instead of focusing on the growing list of things that I could no longer do, I started focusing on things that I could do. I have a personality and perspective that seems to be based on positive thinking as often as possible. This has helped me focus on the little sparkle of hope for better days for all patients like myself and for making today a good day with positive thinking.

It helps.

My life is not exciting, eventful or entertaining- but it wasn’t always this way. I used to be an office manager for multiple businesses. I volunteered to organize community clean ups in my area and with a reptile zoo for a few years. I had a social life and a busy schedule. I was independent before all of this.

For the most part, it’s hard to see my disability by looking at me. Until I walk or try to use my right arm. Often times, my leg and arm are a funny color, cold or hot to touch and they usually are swollen. Allodynia is a symptom of CRPS that causes a reaction of pain in our brain from simple things like: our own breath, hair, wind, a hug, etc. These things alone make CRPS the Queen of Invisible Illnesses in my opinion.

Which means I will not stop after this year of blog challenges. My 365 day challenge- Spoonie Edition and my #50dayswithCRPS challenge were just the beginning.

What happens next is still in the process, but I will keep you all informed and updated. I will still write at least once a week to continue trying to inspire. One person and one day at a time.

Please be kind to your mind. Please try to make today a good day with positive thinking. If I can do it, anyone can try ❤

I want to thank each of you for following my journey and sharing your stories and support for me. I appreciate each and every like, follower, email and donation more than you know ❤

Challenges Complete ❤

Be Kind to Your Mind ❤

Positive thoughts,

-Kristen Sparkle

Day 366/366 (Leap Year)

Entry 188/183

#50dayswithCRPS by Kristen Sparkle- Day 50

@ConquerCRPS on Instagram, Facebook and Gmail

paypal.me/sewearthycreations My personal journey is increasingly difficult because of CRPS, but I continue to try to make the best of each day. All support is greatly appreciated ❤

https://www.swagbucks.com/refer/HippieRays If you want to make a little extra money from home for watching videos or taking surveys. It all adds up. I’ve made $700 in the past few years.

I CANNOT RESPOND OR CHECK COMMENTS ON COMPLEXTRUTHS SO PLEASE EMAIL ME CONQUERCRPS@GMAIL.COM–

#UnbendableSpoons #CRPSAwareness #CRPSWarrior #ConquerCRPS #FibromyalgiaFighter #FightChronicPain #FightCRPS with #love #peace #happiness = #success and #peaceofmind #365daychallenge #3ToChangeCRPS

blogging, chronic pain, CRPS, hope, lifestyle

One more- Day 49

I hope it is understandable that I have not felt like myself lately. A lot of things are changing and they continue to do so each day. I have learned over this past year that one of the best things I can do for myself is to take time for me.

Take time to step away and just breathe. So, that’s what I am doing today before my shift starts. I’m going to meditate and find a new routine to help me get through this new normal.

One day and one step at a time, we got this. Tomorrow will be my last entry for both blogging challenges, we will see what happens next 🙂

Be Kind to Your Mind ❤

Positive thoughts,

-Kristen Sparkle

Day 365/366 (Leap Year)

Entry 187/183

#50dayswithCRPS by Kristen Sparkle- Day 49

@ConquerCRPS on Instagram, Facebook and Gmail

paypal.me/sewearthycreations My personal journey is increasingly difficult because of CRPS, but I continue to try to make the best of each day. All support is greatly appreciated ❤

https://www.swagbucks.com/refer/HippieRays If you want to make a little extra money from home for watching videos or taking surveys. It all adds up. I’ve made $700 in the past few years.

I CANNOT RESPOND OR CHECK COMMENTS ON COMPLEXTRUTHS SO PLEASE EMAIL ME CONQUERCRPS@GMAIL.COM–

#UnbendableSpoons #CRPSAwareness #CRPSWarrior #ConquerCRPS #FibromyalgiaFighter #FightChronicPain #FightCRPS with #love #peace #happiness = #success and #peaceofmind #365daychallenge #3ToChangeCRPS