2020 is more than halfway through and so far it looks nothing like 2019, or anything any of us have seen before (at once).
The world around us changes, but the circumstances and limitations my body already had set for me, and others like me, remain the same. I caught myself slipping there a few weeks ago into the easier thoughts of depression and hopelessness. The days were too long and I couldn’t sleep enough, always being tired. I was upset with everything and jumping to hopeful conclusions for problems that were out of my control.
So, I decided to start doing things a little differently. I took a step back from projects I was working on and took a step in front of the mirror. Literally. I looked at what CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome) has done to me so far, by 32 years old, and I looked into my own eyes.
“What the hell have I let happen?” I thought to myself.
I closed my eyes and took 3 deep breaths. I knew things needed to change.. just like they were changing around me.
CRPS sucks, I can’t say it enough and I can’t find a more glorified way of saying it. It SUCKS the life out of patients. It SUCKS personality out of patients. It SUCKS motivation and it SUCKS inspiration. It SUCKS and leaves us drained, in a lot of pain. Highest pain recorded on the McGill Pain Index in fact. It Sucks.
That won’t change.
But my attitude towards it could use a few modifications.
Chronic pain in general has taught me of my own personal strength. My ability to get up, keep going and keep trying. I am stronger than I look and stronger than I give myself credit for.
Chronic pain inspired me to tap into my kindness and compassion for others- but also for myself. I know what it feels like to be alone, in pain and without answers- I don’t wish this on anyone and want to help everyone I meet. The world needs more positive vibrations and when you have something sucking all of that from you, it’s difficult to emit such a frequency unless you work on it.
Chronic pain taught me what is truly possible if you put your mind to it. It can consume, abuse and hurt you, OR it can help you rise above it all and give you strength to help you do the impossible.
One day at a time, I’m learning, I’m growing and I’m trying. I want to help myself and help others increase the quality of their lives, in small steps. Chronic pain and mental health can be difficult to balance, so I want to thank you all for following me along my journey so far and for any donations my followers have made towards my paypal account. You are all appreciated and help me continue this project.
I originally started this blog after my first pain specialist treated me for CRPS for a year and then had to wish me luck as a patient and person because there was nothing more he could try. I started with the intent of releasing negative emotions to make space for the positive and to inspire others to try to smile- no matter what is going on. CRPS has an awful nickname that I try to not mention, “Suicide Disease”. I’m trying to change that to “Made for Warriors”. I’ll get to where I need to be when I need to be there and have already come so far ❤
Be kind to your mind and be kind to one another ❤
@ConquerCRPS on Instagram, Facebook and Gmail
https://www.swagbucks.com/refer/HippieRays If you want to make a little extra money from home for watching videos or taking surveys. It all adds up. I’ve made $700 in the past few years.
paypal.me/sewearthycreations My personal journey is increasingly difficult because of CRPS, but I continue to try to make the best of each day. All support is greatly appreciated